she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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