If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
