My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
