you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
