it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
you had me at cake vodka
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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