The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
