just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
