Got a toothbrush?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize