There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize