Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
