so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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