I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
