Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize