You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
