My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
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Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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