Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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