dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
