He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
