i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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