I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
