i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
