Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
