Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
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until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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