It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
