sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
