the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I believe in your delicious
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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