There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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