i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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