i just wanna soil my oats bro
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
