If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
