Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
