the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
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