End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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