to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
