I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
