I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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