Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
