So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
