Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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