I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
