i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
