there's paper in my vomit.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
