I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
