I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
