I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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