your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
