his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
