Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
