Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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