I bet he comes in French.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
