If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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