There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
