okay pat passed out under dana's car
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
