She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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