her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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