just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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