You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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