Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just invented taco cereal.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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