I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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