sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
