"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
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That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
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