I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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