So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
