Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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