He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
