I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize