go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
